


It Can Wait

by Nickyrockit



Category: Motorcity
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1630283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickyrockit/pseuds/Nickyrockit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julie has a mental battle with herself about her secret. Will she finally have the courage to tell the Burners about her secret life? Takes place the day after the Season Finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Can Wait

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first Motorcity oneshot/story, it was actually written back in 2013, and originally posted in fanfiction.net and on my DeviantArt account. Recently modified and edited, so if by any chance you've read this before, you might want to read it again for any changes I've made to the original. Other than that, enjoy!

It can wait… That's what you've told everyone, what you've told him, what you kept telling yourself...

And now look what that's brought you, complication. It has made your life a living hell, caught up between good and evil, and truth is you don't know what to believe sometimes… You lie to yourself by saying that there might be good inside the only loved one you have left, but the more you see, the more it hits you that it can't be possible.

But you still care, after everything that's happened you still care, because truth is he is the only one you have.

You take a deep breath, and the stench of antiseptic and everything disinfected burns through your nostrils. Sadly it's not just the smell of the hospital; it's the way Deluxe smells in general, it's home, and for you it's sickening.

You sit there tired, watching his chest slowly drop as he breathes, and you frown at the sight of his battered self; clearly taking notice of the injuries and his broken leg. Even though you didn't cause them directly you can't help but to feel guilty about his current state, because of what you believe in, you've hurt him. Though he doesn't know it but it was you who helped, you who ruined many of his moves to destroy the one thing you've been protecting, the one thing he's been protecting you from. Freedom.

And even though you hide it well, even though you have your ways, you feel trapped, not because you literally are, but your secret has you buried deep in a hole, wounded and hurt. You lie to your father, the only person left from your family, the one person you know you mean the world to, who does the impossible to keep you safe from harm; his little princess who feels trapped in a perfectly white tower… The spoiled princess who gets everything and yet no one knows, daddy's perfect little girl. But you do realize that he reaches the extremities to protect you, he’s already lost so much, and just as he's the only thing you have left, you're the only thing he has left, and he just wants to protect it, to keep it safe… He doesn't want to loose you just like you two lost her…

And it hits you. You realize that you don't really want to loose him, that it would kill you inside if he ever left you. Your eyes start to water at the thought, and you take a deep breath to try and hold it back, because the guilt keeps gnawing at you.

No, but it's not right, you believe in something, regardless of what he's doing you know it's wrong and it's not fair for Motorcity. Heck! It's not even fair for Deluxe either. To live in a world where every rule is mandatory, in a world filled with false hope, a world filled with selfishness and lies. This is not for Deluxe, this is not to keep you safe; at least not anymore, you know it's gotten out of hand, and you more than anyone know it's clearly about revenge, it's about the one thing he's been protecting you the most.

He swore the day she died that he would dedicate himself into building a safer place for you and for everyone else to live in. No more cars, criminality or any reason for more accidents to occur. No more suffering for anyone, and everything will be clean and pure. He would do it for her, for you. Daddy's little girl.

Finally a tear slithers down your cheek, and you immediately wipe it away because you can't show any form of weakness, no, not you, not here. You're Kane's daughter, and if he knew you were broken he would do anything to break whatever broke you. And yet, you’re a Burner, and you know that he is capable of breaking you as well, because you are good and evil. You love the hate from both worlds, because you appreciate his intentions even though it's gotten out of hand, and yet you chant and fight with the people he's trying to destroy.

A sigh comes out of you, things are complicated aren't they? Your mother would be disappointed, she never tolerated lying. She showed you better. You know better. For a split second you feel like confessing everything to the comatose form in front of you, but deep inside you know you can't! He’s too corrupted; he would never tolerate such a thing. That would only make things worst, you’re too valuable for him, and you know that he would make and take things into bigger proportions. He would start a bigger war, and his revenge with Chilton will finally end, because how dare he turn his flesh and blood, his princess, his Julie Bear, the one thing he's been protecting, against him?! No, that would only add more hatred in him. And you? He would probably lock you up in one of his high tech security cells and put you under all sorts of psychiatric treatment available to clean that filthy Burner mind of yours.

You shiver at the thought. You might love him but he's the one person you fear the most, because you know how sick, deluded and mad he is. But while he might not forgive your sins, there might be others who will, at least you hope.

And you realize that it can't wait anymore, not another day, hour or minute. They have to know, and even if they reject you, which will probably happen, _he_ could never hate you. No, not him, he cares way too much for his friends, because unlike you, Motorcity and the Burners is all he has. You? You have Deluxe, Motorcity, a father, friends… A choice. He doesn't have a choice, he's wanted where you're from and praised where he's from, a hero and a criminal.

You finally stand, because the longer you stay here the sooner you'll turn insane. You take one last glance at your injured father and a soft smirk curls it's way on your lips. Funny, this is the most peaceful you've seen him in years, and even though you know it's the painkillers you appreciate the moment, because deep inside you do miss him. The father you once knew as kind and loving. Your eyes start to water again but you hold back the tears, you have to be strong, you have to be brave, the truth is coming and you're afraid.

"I'm so sorry dad…" You whisper before you turn and leave the room.

After you walk out of the hospital, you discreetly make your way into one of the building's docks, the one you know so well as your personal entrance to that other life of yours, to freedom. You finally reach your destination, take one last glance around to make sure that no one is nearby or watching, and with the touch of a button your beloved vehicle appears before your eyes, you switch your suit to your normal casual attire and slide inside of 9 Lives. The igniting sound fills you, and suddenly the sound of safety is replaced with the roars of the engine, and you have to admit it's perfection to your ears. Setting the gears in place you speed towards Motorcity.

The darkness, colors, dirt and pollution… And you suddenly remember the first time you came down here, you had to hold your nose from the stench, too dirty and polluted for your perfectly healthy lungs. The dirt and motor oil staining your perfect mandatory Kaneco suit, and for a split second you swore you would never come back to this dump, but it wasn't the smell or the dirt that brought you here in the first place, it was the sound, the colors, the smell of asphalt and the change of environment that made you venture down that hell pit, that hell pit that is now your second home, the one that you’re now fighting for.

You finally reach the Burner’s garage, but you don't move, you're hands are still gripping the wheel and your foot is still strongly resting against the brakes… You suddenly feel your arms shaking and you think to yourself that it’s going to be harder than what you’ve thought it would be. But you're already here, and there's no going back, so you set your car on parking and your fingers make their way towards the keys to turn off the engine, but you don't have it in you, you're just too afraid to face the truth. And you suddenly start wondering how fast can you turn around and leave without the rest of the guys noticing.

Through your glass you can spot the guys not too far ahead from where you are, and even though a day has passed, you can easily tell that the celebrating mood is still lingering through the atmosphere. Jacob’s in the kitchen, cooking for what looks like an army as trays and trays of food are laying everywhere, and to your surprise it finally looks edible, and you can tell it is since the rest of the guys are indulging themselves in it. Chuck is surprisingly sharing a laugh with Dutch as they listen to what you suppose is one of Texas’s Texas-ifying tales, and Mike… Mike is also sitting with them, smiling at his friend's extreme story, and even though his face is still bruised from yesterday's incident, he has a genuine smile plastered all over his face. It didn’t matter how much he suffered, he still managed to escape and defend Motorcity, and you know that no matter how much he's hurting right now, this victory is tough to ignore, and you can tell that he's satisfied, happy, but not about winning, because he didn't he didn’t win, he didn’t finish your monstrous father… It’s more about the fact that he fought for what he believed in, for the right reasons, the greater good, and you can't help but to admire him more than the rest. Because you know… No, you just don't know, you witnessed the hell he went through for this city, you saw him battered, the fresh blood running down his chin from the gash on his lips, his blackened eye, the bruises on his body, all of it from the torture that your father made him go through… And yet he didn't give up, he couldn't… It was all worth for Motorcity, for his friends, for you.

You sigh and look down at your lap, by now you've given up on turning your engine off, and you loosen the grip on the keys until they finally and carelessly fall on your lap. You can't do this, you can't ruin this moment for him or the rest. What kind of a monster are you? There's a reason why you didn't tell him yesterday! It wasn't the right time, and is still isn't! But how much longer can you keep this up? Lying to those you love for your own sake, you're so selfish! Coward!

A light tap on the window wakes you up from the mental tantrum, and you lightly jump at the sound, turning to look at the source. A mix of dark blue, orange and white is all you see, causing your heart to freeze and your eyes to widen when you realize who it is. It's too late to run now! Taking a deep breath to recollect yourself, you lower the window and force a smile to the leader of the Burners.

“Hey, Jules, Uh… You planning on coming out?" He says, with a bemused look in his eyes; probably wondering about your prolonged stay in your car.

Your smile drops as you remember, and sigh before you answer, "Yeah I'll be there in a bit, I was just… thinking…"

He tilts his head in curiosity, and now he lowers himself to be more at your sight level, and he can see it, you know he can as soon as his expression changes into a more concerned one, and you know he sees the fear in you. He glances around, as if to check if the rest are aware of the situation or not; and then looks back at you. "Are you okay?" He asks in a serious low tone.

No more lies, you can't keep lying! So you shake your head but you don't meet his eyes, but how could you?

"You want to talk about it?" He suggests, but you don't answer; instead you deliver him a slight shrug because you are unsure that you really want to.

And you can see from the corner of your eye that he nods acknowledging your silent answer, he fully stands and gives the team one last look before he starts walking in front of your car, making his way towards the passengers seat of 9 Lives.

With a finger, you press the button that pulls up your window, and as you hear the buzzing sound of the glass closing, you can't help but think… Why couldn't it have been someone else who tapped on the glass? Maybe Chuck? Surely he would probably just sit there in silence at your confession, maybe at a loss of words, or too scared to respond because of the fact that you are Abraham Kane's daughter… Actually he would probably be afraid of you after that. Dutch would probably lecture you and rant over the fact that you lied to the team, and would probably go on and on about how it's going to be tough to try and trust you again, that is if he ever considers trusting you again in general. Texas would probably try and scare you away with some of his karate moves as if you were a stray diseased animal. And then there's Mike, who in all honesty you don't have a clue of what his reaction might be, and you realize that you're afraid of what he might think of you the most, you're not ready to disappoint the only person who keeps that flame of hope lit in you, and yet you feel horrible for lying to him, he doesn't deserve it, not from anyone. Specially not from you Miss Kane.

The sound of the door closing brings you back to reality, startling you enough to jump in your seat. You turn your gaze at him and he just gives you a worried look, and you can't blame him! Isn't this supposed to be the time for celebrating, you helped him yesterday with your father's merciless death sentence, the Burners saved Motorcity, and his bruises are more than proof of that. And yet you feel horrible, you don't deserve this, you don't feel worthy enough to be called a Burner and it has to stop, he has to know!

"Jules, what's up? You look like you have a lot on your mind." He starts, and you nod in agreement because there is nothing false about his statement.

"I… I have to tell you something.” You say in fear, and once again you feel your hands shaking, it's nothing exaggerating but it bothers you because even your voice sounds a bit shaky.

He sighs, but not out of annoyance; its sort of that he knows that you're struggling with what you have to say, and he hates seeing you like that. He sends you a comforting smile. "Jules, you know you can tell me anything, right?" He assures.

And you can't help it, his words make you smile and feel a little better about yourself. "I know…"

"So… What is it? Whatever it is we can handle it." He says, his reassuring smile never dying. But it's not the "we" that worries you, it's him that'll kill you the most.

You sigh once more, just say it! Just spit it out! "It's my family…" You start, and his eyes widen in surprise, because it's the first time you've ever brought your family into a conversation. Not that you've all talked about your families before, except Dutch… But the piece of information surprises the leader.

"Oh… Um… Is everything alright with your family?" He asks awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah everything’s fine, I mean, no… It's just that…" And once again you feel lost of words, but again; you try. "Mike, I've been thinking that maybe it's time for me to move down here permanently… But-"

"Finally! It's about time, Jules, I mean I know that would mean you would have to loose your internship and all… but I prefer to have you here, where I know you’d be safe.” He interrupts you, and his tone changes into a more relieved one, the tension for the waiting abandoning him like a newly freed moth that’s been trapped from the wrong side of the glass. You frown because he's misunderstanding what you're trying to say, sure you want to leave Deluxe, you'd do it in a heartbeat, but you're Kane's daughter, it's not that simple.

"Mike, I would love to move down here, but my family… I just don't know if I'm ready to leave…" You trail off and sigh, you look him in the eyes and once again his eyes change to worry as he sees it in yours, crushing the hope that not too long ago lit in his face. "My dad… he's…" And again, lost of words.

He shifts his position; twisting in his seat so he can fully face you, he leans closer to you, and wraps an arm around your shoulder in a supporting manner, and beckons you to continue, as if it's okay! He's Mike Chilton, he can take the blow, can he?

But you don't speak, and you feel the shiver running down your spine at his comforting touch, because now he cannot just sense your fear, but feel it as well. It makes you warm inside, and it makes you feel tingly to know that he's here, that he cares. You take a deep breath; finally finding the courage to speak. Isn't this what friends are for? to support and comfort you in your time of need? You trust Mike, right? Then what is the problem? "Let's just say that my father isn't too fond of Motorcity…" You continue saying, and you look at Mike for support, but he just nods understanding your words.

"Does he know you're a Burner?" He simply asks.

And you don’t know why, but you’re a bit surprised by his question. "Oh God no! he'd probably loose it!” You say a little frantic at the thought, and look away. Oh God, why did Kane had to be your father? Why couldn't he just be your uncle or a family close friend? And then maybe things wouldn't be so complicated. But no, this isn't your case, and sadly Kane is what he is to you, and you are what you are to him, and to load a little something else to the burden, you’re also a Burner.

"What about your mom?" Mike asks, bringing you back to reality.

And you immediately dart your eyes at him, keeping his gaze for a slight second while you register his words. The speechless look on your face softens to a hurt one, and you can feel the tears burning behind your eyes. You look away because this wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't supposed to ask you about your mother, and there's not much to say either… Just that it fills you with sadness the fact that she's gone. You slowly shake your head. "She passed away when I was younger…" You admit.

And he looks at you with pity, and a bit of guilt for bringing the subject. You feel his hand tighten around your arm; not in a strong way but in a gentle supporting way, and for that you feel grateful, because not many people know about your mother, except the obvious and Claire. "I'm sorry…" He softly says in a consoling manner.

You try to hold back the tears but you can't, and you finally blink to release them. And it isn't just because of your mother, it's the fear of this situation, it's your father, who you really are, Mike… And you just rest your head on his shoulder and let the tears fall for a bit, wishing that all of your worries are just some part of a horrible dream, that in any moment you’ll wake up, and there won’t be any fear left to haunt you, no more hatred, no more lies to spread or secrets to keep. But you know your life if too harsh, and you know that’d be too much to ask for.

But it's not over, you came here to say something, and you know you're stronger and braver than what you’ve made yourself believe. You’re a Burner. So you wipe your tears away and look at Mike once again, but again you are lost of words, choking as if you were suddenly out of breath, and you look around as if the words are written somewhere for you to read aloud, 'I AM ABRAHAM KANE'S DAUGHTER! I AM JULIE KANE! KANE IS MY LAST NAME! KANE IS MY FATHER!' But sadly they aren't there, and even if they were all you’d probably want to see is a blur.

Take a deep breath, just get it over with! You close your eyes and open your mouth to speak, but your words are interrupted; muffling the truth that you finally decided to reveal. Your lips are being blocked by his, your eyes widen at the realization, and all you see are his peacefully closed, and you can't help but to close yours as well and enjoy the unexpected moment.

When you part, you're surprised and your hands are shaking even more. He's softly smiling at you, giving you that tender sweet smile of his that kills you. And you? You don't smile, you still look shocked, and you look away and say, "You shouldn't have done that..."

He frowns, and now there is regret on his face, "I-I'm so sorry…" he apologizes with a sheepish tone, as he lets you go from his arms and straightens himself on his seat, the regret replacing itself to an embarrassed look on his face.

But he doesn't get it! If things were complicated before, now they are beyond that! You are Kane's daughter, he is Mike Chilton! And you… you… you want him, deep inside you never wanted that kiss to end! But no… It can't be! If your father ever found out about this he’d crush both of your traitorous necks, he won’t even take into consideration the possibility of Mike Chilton bribing his daughter into the wrong path, because you are aware and sure of your decisions, and this just complicated everything even more, because you want this, you've always wanted this, you love him, and that is something you can’t deny.

Gently placing a hand on his shoulder he turns to look at you, and you slowly shake your head at him, "Don't be…" you say in a whisper; leaning towards him. There’s doubt in his eyes, but it doesn’t take him too long to catch on, and eventually he does the same until you cup his cheek and lock lips with him once again, this time it's mutual so you don't hesitate, not even for a split second, because you've dreamed of this moment for so long…

You both part for air, and once again the guilt starts eating at your insides, and you don’t know if it’s the rush of the kiss that has suddenly given you the confidence to spill yourself at him, "Mike, my dad-" but he quickly stops you, gently placing a finger to the tip of your lips he lets out a soft hush, the look on his eyes tender and glowing, almost hypnotizing, that even if you blink you can still imagine them staring lovingly back at yours. He smiles, and you realize that you’ve never seen him give that look to anyone else before, it’s silly of you to think about it, but you feel as if it’s a look that’s only meant for you. It is for you, and only you.

"It can wait…" He whispers to you, the same finger that was softly resting on your lips now travels to your chin; slowly guiding you closer to him until the tip of your lips meets his, and you both close your eyes as you lock lips once again… And you can't help it because you want this so bad as well, and you don't want to ruin this, so you just go for the kill as well, deepening the kiss with the same loving passion you’ve always felt for him.

How ironic, the way two men can hate each other so much, and yet love you with all their might… Yes, I guess you can say that it can wait…


End file.
